I have finished my A level, but my results are yet out. (I'm pretty sure I did bad this time.)I have a choice to enter in September or December.Took me awhile and I chose to enter my college in the end of this year which is december. Everyone was okay with it, and everything went perfectly until my parents start talking about it again. Like, why so long? Why do you need such a long break? 3 months is more than enough,but why until 6? That day when they told me to choose, I have made up my mind about the negative and positive sides about it and I have decided that it will be on december that I will be going to USA to continue my studies. They are not happy with my choice after a month or two and start asking me again. I really get pissed of with that. I mean, I made my choice already and changing my choice is hardly my style. They call me immature for not thinking about the future. I was all like.... it's not like I don't want to continue my studies. It's just I postponed it by another 3 month. Is that 'not thinking about the future'? They said it's because of my girlfriend I don't want to go earlier. But it was all my choice, not hers. They always randomly say things without having any proves. My parents really can't find happiness in everything. What they see is just the bad sides, no good sides. I believe that taking another 3 more month is not going to kill me, making me more stupid, ruining my future and so on. I just taking this to relax of awhile. But the thing is, my family is a very stereotypical type of Chinese parents. They think like, studies must be done first, if not, no such shit as relax. They even told me to relax and enjoy after studies. When they said that, I thought of something. Who promises me that I can relax after studies? I must get a job, if not, how to relax? Even after getting a job, how to relax? We have tonnes of work to do and even on our free time, works will still be going on. And I have to do my job well so I can stay working in whatsoever place I work. I can find happiness in my work, but the feeling of being empty headed will never come back anymore. It's like, now is the only time I have. Saying that I'm lazy? I'm just being happy. If in future I'm not going to be happy as much, then now is the time. In my life, happiness is my goal in every single part of my life. It does not appear in the end where I finish my work and enjoy pension, it is not when I work, it is not when I'm studying in my high school. It is everywhere, every single one of them. My goal and others is not really the same, and that's why they say things about me. We don't think the same as well, and therefore they say bad things about me. I'm just doing what I think is correct. If it is wrong, then so be it. There is no such thing as correct and wrong choices. We don't know what the outcome will be. And yet people always say I choose the wrong options ( not refering to quizzes or exams). Get what I mean? I'am me and you are yourself. If it is true that life is only once, then go ahead and do things that you believe in, as long as it doesn't cause any pain to anyone.
Talk about my relationship and my parents. What they think of relationship is far different from how I see it. They said 'Get girlfriend only after studies'. I really get pissed of from that. Right now, I have the chance to straight away have a girlfriend without having to wait for one when working. I understand that they are worried and they scared that I can't do well for my studies if I have a girl.My fear in life is being alone without anyone other than family member loves me. So I actually do put a huge bet on me being till the end with my current girl. I see she have the potential to stay long because she isn't like a typical girl who demand many things. Also we always talk about what we don't like from one another and fix it.Back to my parents. The reason that they think differently, is because I'm a 'retarded' person. My retarded means:
1) Acting like a kid
2) Always laugh at things
3) Acting like an idiot
4) Immature
5) Do something people don't see it around
Talk about acting like a child. Who says I can't? Who says that 19 years old person must be acting like a real man that goes to gym everyday and does manly stuff. I am who I am. People say acting like a kid would never bring them anywhere. But look at me. At least my high school results only have 1 B, others A, compare to the 'manly' people on my class who even scored an F. A freaking FAIL. Does it mean by acting like a kid means being dumb and things? Think about it again.
I love laughing at things. Laughing makes us better.I laugh at my stuffs, except the things that I cannot laughed at. Does it mean that when I grow up, I must not laugh as much anymore? Why I laugh to begin with? Why laughing so much? My type of person is to always find joy in everything. What type of life if you can't find joy in things? Why can't we smile more in our life? I'm pretty sure the way they think is like 'He laugh alot, like some crazy kid, I can't let him be in the society. He is not mature enough.' I'm pretty sure many people thinks like that as well. What about you? Do they call you crazy when you laugh? Do they insult you? Ignore them. Those people are just souls trapped in a body that doesn't know how to find happiness in everything.
Acting like an idiot is like me giving weird faces to people, weird sounds and weird acts. I only do that to the people I'm confortable with. People who does that tend to make others think that they are abnormal. But from what I see, those people who are being called abnormal, sees the person who said that to them as abnormal as well. Like me, if you insult me and tell me what being normal means, I'll see you as abnormal.
To think about it. Is there such thing as 'normal'? Normal as what I see is, what majority of the society today does and have. And if they see people who are unlike them, they'll call them 'abnormal'. Let's say we group up the 'retarded' people together and 'normal' people together. They'll definitely argue about being normal. Let's call the normal people the 'hipsters'. The 'retards' can say 'You calling taking selfies as normal?' while the 'hipsters' can say 'You saying laughing out loud all the time is normal?'
As you can see here. No one is normal. Everyone is unique. You may find one person that looks and does almost excatly like you do. But I tell you, that person is not 100% like you.
My parents always compare me with others. I always feel like a failure, like always being compared. Are they never satisfied with me? I pull up my results from F-E-D-C to A in just a year, and they still want me to be like others. I know they want me to be better, but I'm pretty sure comparing me will not work as what it may seem like to other children. If I score bad, they compare me with the good grades. When I have worked hard to aim for the best, they compare me with another new stuffs. Things just go on and on and on. I am not the person who is being compared to. I'm just me, not them. They can do whatever great things, but I will never be them. So what is the use of comparing? To parents that read this, do you compare your child to another child? If yes, just stop. They may sound that they listen to you, but in actual fact, you are degrading the trust in them-self and sooner later, they may become a kid that doesn't even give a single fuck about their future.
Immature. My mother always call me immature, just because I did the above. For me not to go university earlier if you remember