A guy is having a beautiful day, who say he won't get struck by thunder in the end.
Passed down to you by Tommy, damned boy with a bad past.
Let's recall back about the girl in the previous blog. She was an innocent little girl who enjoys watching drama and normal stuffs that can be done at home. After this 'snake' came in to her life, let's name the snake 'Karen' and introduce her to alcohol, then damn, her old self died. From that day onwards, her only way of life is drinking and drinking. Stress? Drink alcohol. If not stress, 'Drink alcohol'.
2 years later....
I was browsing through her blog.... I saw this thing about 'Things she will miss', her routines basically. And guess what? She smoke shisha.... Something that i never expect from her. Like which nice girl who can get good results do such thing? Such a bad image of her. I don't mind seeing people smoking shisha. Just..... seeing her doing such thing is too...... humiliating.
That is just the beginning. Guess what? Just recently I have found out.... she smokes cigarettes.
Of course i was like 'WHAT THE FUCK?'
I don't know what to say no more. She studies less than others, does things like these, yet her results are so good. What kind of luck is that? She can do what ever thing she wants to do and she also can get her results extremely good as well. Her life, no financial problems. She can buy what ever she wants as long her parents like it. Her social life is also great, can make friends and others easily. Compare to others, she really have such as nice life. I know one of my friend that studies for many hours, yet can't get as high result as hers. Even lower than mine actually... Since long ago, she is always few steps above me. Like if i have something great, she always have it as well, but greater than mine.
All I wanna say is just..... she had a perfect life. And her sadness is just cause by something that she doesn't wanna change. She doesn't believe me if she read this, but i know. I have been watching her for years and know her stories. I wanted to help her before.... but she rejected me. Who know? It's a chance that she could get, but she rejects it.
I always think bad stuff will happen to her, but it never happen. Instead, things just go the total opposite. So, I gave up thinking that she will go down. Surely she is the person that can get good result in her university, get good job offer due to her nice personality and results, she have a good life with a good men. She also won't experience any danger from getting so drunk in the bar, she will be safe the whole entire life...... That's.... just what i think now.... I have nothing anymore about her... Wish her good luck.... And farewell.... Enjoy your next life in Hong Kong.
Now... Why am I talking about her all of the sudden? Right now I'm in Jakarta, Java Island, located at the south of Borneo island. Far away from Kuching where my lover is at. And right now, she is going to bar with her sister and friends. Which always reminds me of that girl.....
I told her that I hate people close to me going to bar. She knows, yet she still going there. But her main point is to look around there and decide if she wants to work there. When she told me she wants to work there, I really actually got shocked. real shock. Like right now, still having numb feet. I don't feel like doing things right now. I simply lost all my mood, i went to facebook to check stuff, but didn't even care to look at what people tagged me at....even hers...That's how much i lost myself right now. The figure of myself in my mind is literally covered in darkness, just like me and the girl in previous blog. When she told me she's going to go there, I feel like crushing my phone with bare hand and when I read properly she's going to drink, I really have the intention to throw my phone across the room. That is how mad I am at that time. No kidding, I have seen what drinking could lead to, and how people can get influenced into this. Even thought i know she won't get into this, I still don't like it. I have no idea about this..... I mean, I can't stop her from working. She wants to work, but many places requires mandarin except for that place. I shall repeat myself, I REALLY DO NOT want her to work there. What if something happens to her? Like right now, I'm so fucking far off from her, if something happens, I will be blaming myself for the rest of my life. Even if I'm there in Kuching, I'm pretty sure my mother won't allow me to go out with her till late night. Atleast I can straight away see her if something happens to her there eventhough I'm not allowed to follow her. But right now? I may still have to stay 3 week more, 3 WEEKS MORE, then I can see her. Thinking about this really make me stressed out again. At the same time, reminds me the stress I had before with the girl before.
Right now I'm super sleepy, I'm not sure if i told her already. I even felt like sleeping on the chair while waiting for my aunt to finish her work at 2 in the afternoon. Actually at 11 in morning I already can't stand opening my eyes. THAT IS HOW FUCKING TIRED I AM TODAY. I always wait for her to reach home before sleep. Now I gotta stay up late for this. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up early again and my tiredness today will be repeated again tomorrow.....
I lost myself right now... Stop her from working there? But where should she work then?............
Look, she's going back now, at 10:11 pm not too bad..... Also got rejected from her work since they searching for a permanent worker now. Not gonna be happy yet. Maybe this will make me happy for while only. Who knows suddenly they changed their mind and accept her? Or she finds another smiliar place to work at? That is exactly what a carved happy pumpkin being struck by thunder.