Everything is still alright, no weakness, no hates and basically nothing negative yet occurs between us.
Just a short one right now as I don't really have much time.
Talking about specialty. People wants to give others something special, something that they won't give to another person. For example if I give you A, you won't expect me to give anyone else A. Talking about my girl. She gave her best friend this list called 54 reason why she loves her. If you ask me, I definitely want to have that as well from her. Just a few minutes ago I asked her for that. And yes she said that that is what she gave her and it's unique for her, and therefore in my whole entire life I won't ever get that from her.
Well for me that sounds.... great, as you really respect that one person. Imagine someone gives that same thing you give to some else before, the special feeling is just not... there. I mean, it does apply for me... ONLY in certain condition...
I can't argue much, as the friend that she gave to really did save her from her sadness before I came in the scene. But right now, I just feel... not satisfied? not sure if that is the word. Dissapointed? No, that is too deep. Maybe I'm just jealous.
Jealous... yes that's the word. I just feel... jealous. Like her friend has it and I don't have.
When it comes to relationship, many parts of my just don't apply. I want everything from her. When it is everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING. Literally. I became really selfish when it comes to this. I would give her anything she wants if she ask, of course the ridiculous things I won't do.
I really don't know myself sometimes, but thinking about this just makes me more jealous and that I get more mad. Yes I am mad right now, at myself.