'Do you want me to take you to my world?'
'In this world, there's only you and me.'
'No war, no starvation and only peace.'
'Let me show you the outside world.'
Cont.
Right now.... very confused. Much confused, not appreciated.
Yesterday I went out with her. Before I go, I felt that I won't be happy at the end of it. Everything went fine actually, only now I'm more confused.
Yesterday marked the day of my first holding hand with a girl. During the movie, I asked if she was cold. She was, and held my hand to feel my heat. I thought she's gonna let my hand go after a few seconds, but ended up holding for a few minutes. I want to let go, cause I mind is taking it the wrong way. Her cold soft hand made me go crazy. I was really troubled cause my mind was set to romantic moment, whereas in reality she just wanted to hold something warm. My mind battles for minutes and I couldn't focus at the movie. And when then spaceship in the movie exploded, she let go of my hand. That moment was really intense. She let go and I felt quite... sad.
I couldn't forget that moment. That moment made me feels like she's mine. But she isn't mine yet you see. She may just hold my hand without any feelings (I can tell from her expression actually)... That's why I'm confused. Is she the type that wouldn't like people easily?
Wait....To compare from experience... Talking about the girl in the previous blog. I ever let her sleep on my shoulder...and she has no feelings from that.... I guess it all goes the same... I really did fail....And in future, I'll look at this day just as another day of failure. I really have enter the zone of friends.So basically yesterday was another day of stepping into the floor of failure. I may have the chance to reverse it now... I just need to wait for that chatting moment with her. I planned to tell her that I couldn't see her as a Friend, I see her as... a women. That's all. Im not sure how should I start and elaborate it yet. I just need to make sure that things doesn't go the other way.
Just Another Day to be Remembered As a Nightmare