Okay. Let's just start from the very beginning. A day or 2 after I went out with her last week, she told me she wanted to watch horror movie together with me in a cafe. So I downloaded Insidious and Blair Witch Project for that day, which can now refereed to as yesterday. She brought her notebook and I brought my thumb drive. My thumb drive has 10 fatal viruses and I had to reformat it. Well it's an old thumb drive..
So yesterday, we met at bings cafe at 101, around 13 30. At first we watched Blair Witch Project. It's was shit. I rated it 6. When we watch it, nothing special happens between us.After watching it, we talked about our past, even though it's mostly mine.I remember we talked about our first love, which was shit too.
We talked for hours until dinner time and went to a kopitiam to have dinner. It's the first time I talk a lot during dinner with a friend, cause usually I go all quiet down when eating. After we finished, we went back to the same cafe. At that is the most... time of my life so far. Before that happens, I asked her some general questions, like what type of music she listens to. And get to know that her sister ever dated a girl....which i found cute.
So here comes the thing. Before the movie starts, she kept on touching my hands and likes my fingernails. She said it's long and smooth. Well I wasn't impressed cause that is what girls want. Long and smooth means more observable and prettier when girls want to paint their nails. So after that we start the movie around 2115. The beginning was shit and I wasn't scared at all. Around 20 minutes later, she kept on using her fingernail and softly,slowly scratches my arm. It's very noticeable for me since the movie still doesn't scare me at all and I was bored. The sofa we sat on was small and I didn't have much space to move my arm away. So what I did was to hold her hand, but in a way that I meant to make her stop. Instead of she pulled away her hands from mine, she held it. And she slowly move her fingers around my hand and held my hands like how I always see couples are. I was terrified and happy and confused and etc. I couldn't concentrate on the movie anymore. After 10-15 minutes that, I received a call from mom. It used this chance to let my hand go. After answering the phone, I went to toilet. When I went back, I sat uncomfortably due to lack of space. I have no idea where to put my left hand because she's to my left, and so I just place it randomly which I find it not comfortable. I don't mind this because I have watched many movies with a bad and uncomfortable position. Guess what? She told me 'Why you sit not comfortable one?' I was quite surprised that she knew I'm not feeling comfortable. She pulled my arms forward where it feels better for me, and in an instance, she lifted my hands and start to hold them again in the same way without me doing any moves. I was like.... fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk........ I was so happy that I swore so much in my head. I tried letting my hands go for awhile to test her, and it always goes back to that position. It's not cold at all this time. SO WHY DID SHE HELD MY HANDS?????? I'm angry you see... I'm just happy and confused.. Now I really am desperate in knowing what she sees me as and how she think about me. Even though my feelings for her is deep yet.... but I still want to know. Even after the movie ended, she still held me hand. Then I let her hand go and helped to grab her phone. I had to go home already cause by that was already 2310. And as a man, I had to wait for her until she got picked up before I leave. If anything happens to her, I will be in regret for an extremely long time.
So that's how it goes. But as you know me, where there's a good event, there will be bad negative thinking after that. I wonder.... How many guys have she went out alone with before? I can't be her first one right ? If she went out with other guys, will she hold their hands too?
She held my hand like as if nothing has happened before... so I was kind of like... have she done this many time before? I belief I'm not the first guy she went out alone with and about holding hands... I suspects that she ever held some other guy's hand before...Though she never told me about her second love...But during her high school, she wasn't interested with guy from the opposite boy's school (that's what she told me yesterday). I'll ask her about her going out alone with guys when I have the chance. I don't think I should ask about the hands yet.
Entertained Gavotte?