It's been 2 months after that event occurred. It's been a very pleasant moment where I do get love sick anymore. After all it happened for 2 years..There's still no single word from her. I'm still on the test though. I think this would be the great time for her to change her views on me. I'll take 2 more month, then I decide our friendship.
The girls in my class are... mostly dominant and their behaviors are not my type. Some are pretty, but their behavior changes their face into... depends who they are. When comes to think about girls, it'll be still THAT PERSON, don't know why. Im not mad or anything, cause I hate her and like her at the same time, but this time her actions aren't my concern. Only if she starts to talk loud, I would have this 'SHUT UP DAMMIT' played my in head over and over again. And that's the only moment that I can really get pissed off. Seems like her happiness is my annoyance. When she gets excited in class, she'll be very loud, and sadly for me, our seat are not far in distance.
Other times when she pissed me off is when the teacher ask me to refer to her answer, thinking that both of us are still close. This happened this week on Tuesday. My lord, I really got pissed off with both the teacher and her. I tried my best to get away from her and yet I'm asked to refer to her answer.
I really hate it, asking to be close with some I'm avoiding for the time being. Telling truth, it's not easy to avoid someone close, so instead I actually trigger myself to temporarily hate her. I can stop hating her if I want to. I also can put it to permanent, but that's depend on what bad thing is she doing. Actually I can't hate anyone permanently yet.
Up to now, I don't really know her reason of not asking me anything. Well perhaps we were no close to begin with? i don't know her, i don't bother at all. As long she does not annoy me I'm fine with that.
I remember a day.. It was pretty in a big pinch back then it comes to biology project. Teacher is putting people in group of 5. And the way how members are distributed into groups is by saying the number after someone from your left says. If you say 1, you're in group one, the next person to the right says 2, and that person goes to group 2. I was lucky since no one was absent that day.if someone does that day, I'll fall into her group. (If I'm not Mistaken)
So after all this 2 months, I think I'm secretly waiting for her, even though I didn't actually realise it myself until a few days ago. Kind of weird... I didn't sense this eventhough I'm the person myself. I wonder what my mind secretly have been doing without my consciousness
-Remnant-
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